We all have faith. Every single one of us believes in something…family, friends, jobs, money, health, science, the law, God or religion, ourselves. Faith comes as naturally as breathing.
Every January, I choose a special word or phrase to focus on throughout the year. In 2019, my word is FAITH. Simple and yet a perfect representation of where I am and the obstacles I’m facing in my life right now. Faith is my anchor, my compass, and my reason to keep going when I’d rather give up. But if mine is a faith worth clinging to in the darkest and most difficult times, it needs to be tested. It needs to be proven. It’s not enough for me to claim I have faith unless I can explain WHY…unless I know what I believe.
Since the start of the year, I’ve spent time contemplating faith, both the broad concept and my personal faith. What do I believe in? How do I know faith is worth it? How do I know it works? When life is full of challenges, what do I fall back on? There’s a song by singer-songerwriter Pat Barrett, Into Faith I Go, that I’ve listened to a lot the last few months. One line jumps out over and over: “Faith is not some fragile thing that shatters when we walk through something hard.”
I have FAITH that failure is not the end of the road, no matter how much it stings when I fall flat on my face. Failure is only the end if I choose to quit and stew in that place of frustration and humiliation. Is it easy to get up and start over? Is it a cinch to move past bitter disappointment? Absolutely not. It can be scary to ignore the bumps and bruises and try again. It’s hard to start fresh when we know the possibilities, when we know how things could turn out. But faith keeps me from being immobile.
I have FAITH in wisdom and experience. I have friends who tell me they’d love to go back to their 20s when life was fun and easy and we could eat whatever we wanted, ha. No way. Not me. Are there things I would change and do differently? Sure, but then I wouldn’t be me. And I’ve already waded through so many onerous stretches–heartaches and heartbreaks, the consequences of poor choices and dumb decisions. I’d rather not repeat them! However, I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned. There is no shortcut to wisdom. Other people can share their experiences until their faces turn blue; but it’s not the same. Navigating the unexpected curveballs life throws at us–that’s where wisdom comes from. It’s like emerging from a dark tunnel into the light, reaching the top of a steep mountain, or seeing a prayer answered after years of asking. What sweet euphoria and relief to know we figured it out. We persevered. We persisted. We endured. And the next time we face a difficult hurdle, we remember.
I have FAITH that waiting is not a waste. Trust me when I tell you I haven’t always felt this way. While I was waiting for what seemed like eternity for the opportunity to host my own talk show, the waves of impatience threatened to knock me flat. I was SURE I was ready to handle the responsibility…except I wasn’t. I had to develop into a host who could manage the rigors of a daily show and grow into a female host who could withstand the flood of criticism and backlash. It was a slow process. As I wait for my chance to do NBA play-by-play, I try to remember I can use the waiting to practice and hone my skills so I’m prepared when the door opens! In my personal life, it feels like forever that I’ve prayed for a husband and family of my own. I don’t know why it’s taking so long; but I do know the stops and starts, the failed attempts, the relationships that weren’t right have all prepared me to be a better wife and mom when my time finally comes. I barely recognize the girl I was 15 years ago when I thought I was ready. Whenever we find each other, I can’t wait to tell him I waited for him.
I have FAITH that time spent on others is a worthy investment. It comes with getting older–we lose people we love and the people we love lose people. Those losses serve as sharp reminders of what matters most. Our time here on earth is finite. Building relationships, cultivating friendships, talking and sharing and laughing, lending a helping hand, showing kindness, even smiling at or speaking to strangers–these are ways I can truly impact and influence the world around me. In many cases, I may never know if my actions made any difference at all; but they COULD, so I will make the effort. I certainly know how much I appreciate it when others invest in me.
I have FAITH that time marches on. It can feel cruel. How often I wish I could slam on the brakes. But time also heals. It’s a blessing that it never stops. We can count on the sun coming up tomorrow.
I have FAITH that rest is a good thing! It’s alright to slow down, take a nap, read a book, smell the honeysuckle in my neighborhood, plant flowers, go on vacation without wifi, stop rushing, breathe deeply.
I have FAITH that I’m never alone. Lonely, yes. Alone, no. It may require reaching out, picking up the phone, speaking up, getting out of my comfort zone; but when I make the effort, it’s never in vain.
I have FAITH that I can choose joy even in the most difficult circumstances. Like love, joy is a choice, not an emotion. Counting all the reasons I can be thankful produces joy.
I know what I believe in and that faith keeps me moving forward.
My faith is my beacon. Hebrews 11:1
Play by Play Day by Day with Amy Lawrence 